I have never been one for the dating apps for multiple reasons but specifically speaking I 1 – have been a fan of the show catfish and I’m now fully concerned that sexy, 24 year old, male doctor from London is in actual fact a 67, overweight, ex-offender from Romford (no offence to Romford, my home town, I love it but it is home to the vast majority of weirdos in the world).
2 – I am the worst at replying, extremely socially awkward, have a severe case of resting bitch face and i generally hate any form of flirting – the issue with me is i have never been on a tinder date, i cant get past the stage of texting for more than two days, and if i am on a date with someone who i dont like, i have a very hard job at hiding my feelings. The whole situation just cringes me out, what do you do if he turns out to be a complete and utter weirdo, i cant hide my opinion in my face but i’m also not savage enough to just get up and leave, instead i remain on the date awkwardly dying inside finding ways to not let this evening permanently scar me for life.
3 – I dont think i could bring myself to tell people we met off tinder (I mean again dont get me wrong i know loads of happy couples who met like that, one of which have just got engaged) but im more of a we accidentally met and fell in love all cutey cutey vommy vommy as oppose to ‘he didnt ask me for nudes so that was a perk’.
4 – Bumble gives me anxiety – for those of you who have used it then maybe you will agree. You are on a strict time limit to match, message and reply, its like the epitome of countdown for dating.
I also find myself at a very weird age for dating, im 21, got a few weeks left at uni and in complete limbo about relationships – half of me wants one and the other half is still horrifically repulsed at the thought of any form of commitment or a watermelon shooting out me noon (what a delectable image for you all). And again, dating people my age or younger is a bore as their all knobs who dont have their shit together and its safe to say im way too old for that, but dating someone older who does have their shit together means they are gunna be ready for babies and thats a hell no (lets bring back my imagery).
My conclusion on the matter is that all the singleabees should just get a pug. Problem averted.