First let me set the scene of my life right now – Its currently 3am, I have been working on my dissertation since midday and have achieved a staggering 700 words, I have eaten everything but not quite managed to eat an actual meal – I tend to opt for the just eat the individual ingredients themselves a carrot here, egg there kinda meals. I come home to find the fire alarm has gone off AGAIN in my halls (honestly its like white noise to me now, god forbid there’s actually a fire cos I’m toast – literally) and when it goes off the boiler resets – thus hot water is nothing but a dream of the future. HAHAHA COLD SHOWERS ARE NOT THE ONE – ive read about all this like yoga, therapeutic cold showers – I’m alright thanks. I’ve had an overwhelmingly average day so why not share my day with you (lucky sods).
My day first started when I woke at 6:52am freezing my socks off, I mean it was a nipples could cut glass kinda moment. A very disorientated Kate (I mean to me this is the middle of the night) obviously couldn’t function to grab the warm, fluffy princess robe she has hanging on the back of her door, but instead proceeds to grab a dirty ass towel from the floor and return to bed to spoon among the damp. Waking up at a respectable 11:54, smelling remarkably like wet dog, I drag myself to the shower (which was actually hot can we get a hell yes) and finally get ready.
I then make my way to Westfield to take a lovely mooch in Apple for about the 9th time this week to finally get my phone fixed – honestly I have procrastinated this problem for almost a year now, just like everything else in my life – and I’m listening to my cardi b having a great old time, jump on the Skegness which is the central line and am greeted with this romantic, heart felt, Valentines day advert:
I am then greeted by one of the techo wizard genius god people at Apple who is basically talking to me in Chinese, I mean I only need a new battery but I’m glad to see your ICT degree is coming in handy. She basically said your repair will cost either £25 (I’m like hoorah who goes into Apple and only pays £25) OR £299 IF THE REPAIR DOESNT WORK AND WE MAY NEED TO REPLACE THE WHOLE UNIT AND ARE YOU OKAY WITH THIS *I say yes and begin bleeding internally* after the shock of you know price being reasonable or my food budget for the entirety of my uni life, she also then drops the bomb shell that it will be ready by 8pm. its 2:45 HA.
Its okay guys fear not, I come fully prepared, equipped with my laptop and charger (yes I know) and I begin working on my dissertation – I again say working but what I really mean is brainstorming ways to wing it and get a good mark – I’m minding my own business, happily mange-ing away on my chicken burger, after having scraped off the mayo because its existence in the world upsets me – and then BAM this old dude comes and literally sits on my lap. He is so close to me that I cant even fit my laptop on the table anymore. WHY U DO DIS.
I continued to go back and collect my phone at 8pm for it to OBVIOUSLY not be ready because this is the likelihood of my life, by which point I have legit lost the will. Half an hour a later i go back, and am actually greeted with good news (i know right shocking) that my phone has been fixed and only cost me £25 WOOOPWOOOP.
This is where my life hits an ultimate high – one week – lets emphasis the one week – I’m enjoying my lovely overly priced meal from work, ask my colleague to pass me the phone and he drops it and smashes the screen. i am not angry. i am not at all bitter. i am perfectly fine. its just a phone. *internal bleeding from earlier worsens*