Drunkenly trying to explain Cockney to an Italian

Lets just start this little blog with a bit of background information as the title is, well not quite your normal Tuesday lets all watch British Bake off evening (This actually just reminded me that the Bake off is on this evening and I have some what cheered up #bringbackmaryb). This conversation took place at a party where a liver clenching amount of alcohol was being consumed.

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I was having a conversation with one of my fellow students, Italian, and realized that he could not understand practically anything that I was saying – now I don’t blame him here as if you have read my previous blog, you will know that with every alcoholic beverage I consume, my accent gets a little bit more cockney, to the point where Im not even sure if im speaking in English let alone the Italian (His name is Francesco btw, I know, an Italian called Fransesco, Ironic and apparently i don’t even pronounce it right..soz).

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We got onto the conversation of how when we text, he has to urban dictionary basically everything I say – I am smart I promise..- now trying to answer the question of ‘but what language are you speaking because this inst English, can I learn it?’ (imagine that in an Italian accent for added affect) is when I suddenly realized that how on earth do you explain Cockney to someone who isn’t English without sounded like a massive mental?

I was like no you can’t learn it as it’s not actually a language (confusion problem number 1) and two it’s not translatable anyway as the words don’t actually mean anything, they just rhyme (moment where I completely lost him, and myself for that matter).  I taught him the two main ‘phrases’ of apples and pears and hank marvin, and achieved absolutely nothing with this conversation. But at least now I heard an Italian, in his beautiful accent say he was Hank Marvin and that made me smile (and cry a little).

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